Looking for escape in Tennessee

My wife said it would be a disaster....she was right.

The drive up to Chattanooga was really a delight as we passed by towns and cities on our way through the MS delta and on into the bible belt of northern Alabama. A nice contrast in accents and hard working people. The summer heat cooked up a few thunderstorms to make driving interesting, but I found it little to be bothered about as the Smokey mountain range came into view. I love rock, especially that dark organic limestone that's famous in Tenn.

I have grown accustomed to using the GPS so I felt a little lost trying to navigate by my toughbooks street atlas. My GPS was stolen last time I worked on an ambulance...yes, even in EMS there are thieves.

After a long day driving we pulled into the Best Western at the Lookout mt. exit, Lookout mt is famous for Rock City & Ruby Falls, both worth seeing if you ever come to Chattanooga. The room was $90 , but too tired to bump from place to place searching, I dished out the dough to the skinny Indian behind the desk. Apparently Indians own the hotel monopoly up here - the country of India that is, not to be confused with "real" Americans: Native Americans . The Patel's and Purohits. I'm always amazed at how all these foreign nationalities manage to come to America and open hotels, restaraunts, and gas stations - India, Vietnamese, and Arabs. I heard once that they get grants to do this, don't know if this is true or not. The room was nothing to brag about - flat wore out King and an a/c that couldn't keep the room cold - and outside I saw a few sullen family's out by the standardized square teacup pool watching their kids exhaust there energies splashing each other. It was hot and muggy, I could hardly tell the difference between there and home. Lookout Mt was on our Eastern horizon hidden behind a smoggy haze.

My wife had a headache and was too tired to go out and find a place to eat, so we ordered Pizza. I enjoyed it - Mr. T's or something - but my wife was less than impressed. It was a hot restless night as I tossed and turned with the anxieties of possibly moving somewhere new.

Monday, it was still hot outside . Not to be made a fool again on an overpriced hotel, I handed the Indian back the card as he asked me how everything went. I lied - "fine, great..." Who cares, it's not like he would lower the price anytime soon or fix the a/c or replace that hard ass mattress. lol. I figured our first stop would be the Lifeguard EMS station in Chattanooga. The hotel had one of those tourist made printouts for the major streets in the area, and I had mapquested the location during the night, so we had some idea where we were going as we drove the Matrix down and around the base of Lookout mt. towards downtown. Wherever we were, we found ourselves in what would best be described as the 1930's, or the town that time forgot. Weeds growing up through the concrete, businesses long since closed, for lease signs in store front windows, and your neighborhood crackhead spasticating at the corner as he listened to music emanating from the fourth plane of la la land. I was shocked at how little traffic there was. The neighborhood we were in reminded me of the New Orleans ninth ward...before...Katrina. Passed up one of those 60's bygone architectural ideas called the projects, and a long chain of drug dealers was ready to sell their goods as we passed by with the doors locked and my trigger finger you know where. Compared to the streets of New Orleans, the dealers seemed peaceful .

We find the weed covered entrance to the Lifeguard EMS headquarters and turn in passing up two homeless wino's acting as guards - I shit you not! The entire headquarters was surrounded by 18' high fencing with constantine wire at the top. Not knowing what to expect I came in to speak with Holly, their human resource gal, and was interviewed by the on duty supervisor. Large stocky pot bellied medic who seemed less than enthused with the day's ongoings. I was impressed with the scope of the station, all recently built, and the organization that was setup - 2 on duty mechanics, large bay for the units, ample spaced stockroom, large classroom for in-house recerts and education, and a com center that was state of the art. There wasn't much to complain about. Holly was busy doing orientation with two new recruits and the supervisor said he would call me in the afternoon to make an offer, so I came outside to the misses - who was PMSing - to take a spin around Chattanooga to check things out while we waited for Lifeguard to get back with me.

Once we made it out of the dreadfully poor section of town we wandered the vacant streets of downtown to see what Chattanooga had to offer. More than anything we were looking for a place to stop and have coffee...maybe a some eggs and bacon too. The aquarium down by the river was new and modern but as it was still before noon, there was few to anyone there. I thought for sure if we head up main st and over by the university we would find a nice little breakfast joint to patronize but alas, all we found was the community kitchen and large throng of unfortunates standing outside the unemployment offices. Very much the same as what you might see in New Orleans downtown near University hosp. I was surprised there was nowhere to eat near the university, at least not breakfast, and despite our best efforts there was no coffee chain, breakfast joint, or otherwise to stop at anywhere we drove downtown. Plenty of lunch and dinner places that were only beginning to open and prepare for evening tourists. I text a fellow latocer - Michelle - who was watching her kids what we were doing. I wanted to hook up with her to talk about the area and possibly make a friend.

I figured the best bet in finding breakfast would be a chain restaurant off the interstate, so we got back on the 75 headed to Knoxville and found a Cracker Barrel near the Hampton pl mall. We were stuffed with blueberry pancakes and eggs, and gotten our coffee fix, it was late enough for Michelle to break away and meet somewhere.

The weather turned a frightful fit after our conversation, and Lifeguard still hadn't called me back...leaving me to worry a little. I headed over to that den of iniquity, the scourge of mankind, that pit of vipers, the Illuminati HQ's - Walmart to purchase a new GPS. Damn shiny and nice inside too. If I was going to be looking at properties, and with so few days to do so, I needed it to get from place to place efficiently. Poof...there went a hundred. Pulling out of the parking lot the rain was coming down so hard that it almost flooded the car. My wife said "is this any different than back home?" A foot of flood water was racing down the hilly terrain with happy vehicle vengeance. We have a Toyota Matrix, the sucker is really low to the ground, and it wouldn't take much to have water come in.

We took Michelle's advice to snag a hotel down in LaFayette, GA - a hop skip across the state line - a Days Inn. Another Indian running the place, but this time the room was $50/night and the bed and a/c worked perfectly. So far, I'm really impressed with how nice the traffic in the Chattanooga area is - not crowded at all - and on our way down to LaFayette, GA we passed through a famous civil war battle field. Cannons, statues, monoliths placed in green grassy fields between the hickory and oak. My soul could still hear the cannons, and the artillery Colonel ordering "FIRE!" I imagined the shades marching across their battlefield under the glow of a full moon.

We drove down the road from the hotel some, took the advice of the Indian receptionist, to eat at a local Mexican restaraunt. My wife was happy TN and GA had fat people. One large bloke sat with his 3 kids across from us, geez must've weighed four or five hundred pounds. He looked very happy though as his kids enjoyed their time with dad. Across from them was a muscle bound marine - semper fi T-shirt - sitting with his cute blond of a girlfriend. The young ladies in GA were gorgeous. My wife didn't like that. So if you ever get to LaFayette, GA, I highly recommend Don lolo (I think that's what it was called, right across from the Sonic), Megadoom approved chicken quesadillas.

During the evening hours I went online and did more property searches and found some more contacts. Tuesday morning, I started to make phone calls to the realtors and the contacts for homes I had found. Still hadn't heard anything from Lifeguard so I emailed Holly as a reminder. We drove up some back roads near the hotel towards a property that had been listed on Craigslist for some time. Something that seemed as though it would work for us, owner financed home on 8 acres. Beautiful contry, horse pastures, and gorgeous half million dollar homes. The one were looking for was far less than impressive, but a doomer gem if it only had cleared land. The home looked rough, cracked drywall, broken windows, etc. The cleared yard though was not even a quarter acre, and it was right up on the roadside, the rest of the land was on a steep slope towards the back and all heavily wooded. Too expensive for us anyway. I called the realtor for Dunlap who was going to show us two properties that seemed right up our ally in price and needs. GPS said it would take an hour or so to get up there.

The drive through Chattanooga was without traffic and the scenery divine. Richly adorned mountains covered in green with mountain streams and creeks cutting through it all, and the valley of Dunlap was to die for. It was ad midst this beauty that the floor was yanked out from under me. Lifeguard called and said they were only hiring PT due to the drop in call volume and that the pay for a FT paramedic was 14/hr. Get the fuck out of here! A nickel for every year of experience. Get the fuck out of here! A Popeyes manager makes 14/hr! It takes 2 years of intensive training to be a paramedic. A paramedic is responsible for intubating people, starting IV's, making life and death decisions, pushing narcotics and hundreds of other meds and all they're going to offer is 14 fucking dollars an hour? I imagine TN has paramedics who do it for altruism rather than a workable paycheck.

So, sitting outside the realtor's parking lot contemplating our next move, I said to my wife I could stay offshore and commute. She wasn't having any of it as she wasn't going to stay up here in the hills, knowing no one, while I was gone for 2 to 3 weeks at a time. Well fuck shit, witches spit, the whole trip was pointless. Then of course the phone rang with a perfect rental home with 4 acres (OK for all our farm animals) at 700/month down in LaFayette GA for offer. Now what?

I'm back home in Pearlington looking at ambulance services in NW GA. Shit, I wish Excelsior would call for a CPNE test date so I can get my nursing license before the end of the year. This is BS.